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We Rode Bikes On The LA River


What was that? I think it got me! Hey guys, just wanted to
break into today’s video. First, let me merge in Link. Present. As I was saying, today’s vlog, was recorded before the
corona virus outbreak. Which incidentally is Link’s fault. It was the creative choice. No it wasn’t. It wasn’t my fault. But I’m currently hunkered
down in my home with my family. I’m so hunkered right now. I’m also, we are both hunkering. Yeah, and so– I’m not gonna say two hunks hunkering because that would be self agrandizing. No, I didn’t say it. I didn’t even think it, so– I didn’t think it. Anyway, this video, along
with a lot of other videos that we’ve got coming out in our channels, they’re all recorded before the outbreak. So we’re trying to bring you
content during this time. So we just hope that today
you cold just sit back, relax, and enjoy two guys riding bikes. I know we did. Stay safe in there. Oh yeah. Bike ridin’ time! You gonna be surprised at all the things I can do on my bike. Okay I can ride it forwards. I can come to a stop. Put it up there. It’s only front suspension. I don’t want any of the
hater bike commenting about, “You guys got hard tails. “You’re losers.” We got hard tails because we’re hard core. See that? See that hard tail? Ain’t no suspension back there. I’m gonna get a shot of you driving off. That’ll be stupid because I need to be in the car. Okay that’s enough. Alright. Alright! That’s enough. Come one, man! Alright, alright. Okay, yeah. There’s, we’re going this. Okay yeah, this is… Okay, the door’s open. Ah that never gets old. Specially when you leave the
door locked for the first few. Yeah, yeah. There’s a river that
flows through Los Angeles. Well it is a huge concrete ditch. And a lot of it has a bike path beside it. I’ve taken my kids there. If this isn’t more fun
than when I took my kids, then I’m not taking you anymore. I’m gonna take my kids. Well, first of all, you’re not taking me. I’m taking you. Second of all– Well you are the one driving. The one time me and Shepard did it, we started going down next
to the river on a bike path, and then all of a sudden,
the path just ended. Now, I did have the part to figure out how to get to the other
side and continue on. I was like, son let’s just go home. So I hope we get further than that today. I got more heart than that, Rhett. Because I’m in charge. I don’t know, maybe I
don’t wanna be in charge. Whatever you want to do. Okay good. I don’t like being in
charge because then– Nobody’s in charge. This is like a commune. I’ve been in enough communes to know that even though they say there’s not a leader, there’s always a leader. Yeah, and it’s usually the
guy who says the things that I just said. Like, hey nobody’s in charge here. I think it’s usually the guy who’s saying, hey, everyone have sex with
me, but not with each other. Right, not all communes are about all the women having sex with one man. Many of them are. Most of them start with like, “Hey, everybody here likes
sweet potatoes, right?” Yeah. If you’re in one of those
communes slash cults, that’s how it starts. So anyway, come on on a journey down the Los Angeles River. Who knows what we’ll find. Who knows if we’ll survive. Who knows who’s in charge . I don’t. Alright, let’s get these bikes down. It’s very specialized. I’ve got some decisions that I would like your help with, okay? Oh yeah, I’m a good decion-er. We’ve got two helmet options. I don’t feel good about either one. Just to let you know. Rhett is so conscious
about everything associated with what we’re doing today. Okay, this is option one. Ha! Uh. I just, yeah man. Basically, you look like Forrest Gump, but instead of running, you’re on a bike. What else do you got? I honest didn’t think he was
gonna wear a helmet at all. I thought he was gonna be
like, “when we were kids, did we wear helmets?” So I do applaud the fact that
he at least brought helmet. In fact, he brought two. Oh okay, now look at what you got. What are you, Tony Hawk or something? Now I look like I might be
a skater that just happens to have a bike for the day. Which is that cooler? It says Bell on it, which is like the cheap ass Target brand. Walmart. We’re biking. We’re not skating. And you know what? They trap too much heat. Look at that. Now you just have the residue. It’s better than saying what it is right? Not really. This helmet feels like
it’s gonna protect me more because it comes down– Your hair looks absolutely asinine. It’s coming out of the left side , but not the right side. What are you doing? It’s, I mean, it’s tough, man. What is that? What is that right there? Oh you think I should pull it out? Are we ever gonna ride bikes or this is a fashion show man? I got it, I got it. I’m gonna go with this. Yeah lemme show you what I got. Huh. What do mean “huh?” Look at that. Does it have any stickers. Look at all the wholes in that. The air’s gonna get in there, man. Your head’s not going to be breathing. My head’s breathing big time. I do look stupid though. I mean I look like a biker. I think one of us should
look like a bicyclist. The other one should look like
an inhabitant of the river. Yeah right, that’s me. Did you bring sunglasses? No. ‘Cause I broght a certain
type of sunglasses. These are like my athletic sunglasses. They like fit tight. You look like you belong
in grandsons of anarchy. Oh yeah. There you are. We are at the great heron gates! Let’s get down to it. Oh! It’s like real flowing again. The Los Angeles River, y’all! Many years ago, this thing
was just a regular old river that came through Los Angeles. And then they were like,
“Well, let’s put it “into a giant concrete
ditch because we can.” Right, here’s the story. In 1938, there was freaking,
huge tumbling of rain water, and so they said, “Well,
we got to turn the river “into a concretified ditch.” “That we can control.” “That we can control so that
it won’t overflow its banks, “tear down bridges, and kill people.” Have you been on Wikipedia again? When you breathe in this
air, you just gain knowledge. I googled some stuff, yeah. Kind of like how these slates have become an acceptable means for us to high-five each
other without self-conscious. Biking, biking, biking. Biking like some vikings. That’s just how we liking. Biking in the, oh, oh, oh, stop! Look check this out. Some sort of a workout thing. It’s a two-man system. Oh my gosh, it’s freakin’… It’s your own weight. Oh you pull . Oh you pulling? Yeah. I’m pushing. One, two– I’m doing all kinds of
pull-ups over here man. Three! Ah, switch up, switch up, switch up. Oh this is easier. This is way harder. This is easy. I think we’re powering the river. So what’s the point of that? To get winded because the
bikes just don’t do it. I’m suffering from a little bit of like vlogger self-consciousness. And I would’ve thought
that people in Los Angeles were so immune to the concept. That they wouldn’t care, but the looks that we’re getting. Oh I haven’t been looking at looks. There’s some judgemental looks. I think when people see us filming what they’re thinking is,
“There’s two middle-aged men “filming themselves on a bike path. “How boring can you get?” And at this point I’m kind
of like, that’s a good point. The fact is that if we
saw two guys doing this, we would make endless fun of them . Yeah, right. Then we would say things like, “They would have so much more
fun if they weren’t filming. “You know, just ride your bikes guys.” Yeah. “Stop trying to film everything.” But then who can come along on the ride? No one but yourself in the
form of memories later. Yeah, that’s not fun. Memories suck. Memories are things that you can make up. Memories are completely manupilatabable. But I just feel like
there’s treasure trove down there in the river. You want to find treasure? You know, a good ol’
scavanger hunt situation. We find things. We do have bags. There’s a point system. You know, well a scavenger
hunt you just find it. 50 points for a used hypodermic needle. Five points for a pottery sherd. Um. Five points for old money. Old money. Yeah. Are you talking about a
person who’s inherited wealth from their grandparents? 10 points for pamphlets of any kind. 150 points for spotting a big bird. Not like, Big Bird, you know
the gates had herons on them. I think you can spot
like a big blue heron. It’s thrilling when you see a heron. This isn’t a competition by the way. We’re a team. Okay, cool. Because we’re both gonna spot the bird. That drastically increasing
my chances of winning. Looks like we’ve got some
sort of construction. My best guess is that there
are men working up here. You guys doing some river clean up, huh? What’s the craziest thing
you found out there? Bodies. You found bodies? What kind of bodies? Human bodies. What do you do with them? We call the people to come pick them up. Oh wow. Yeah. What’s the second
weirdest thing you found? That’s about it. That’s about it? Yeah. I think he was joking about the bodies. I mean this is Los Angeles. This is a major city. If you’re gonna kill somebody,
you’re gonna put them in the river. If you’re dumb. Alright, let’s go down
here and look around. Alright, now I’m gonna get on the bike and just go straight down this. You made that look pretty cool! Alright, look I already found a stroller. A freaking abandoned stroller. 35 points. I can’t stop. I cant’ stop. I had my brakes completely
applied the whole time. You probably suck, dude. Get in the search mode. You see there’s lots of crap here because they haven’t cleaned anything up. What is that? A motorcycle shield? I think it is. 12 points. Oh man. This is pretty, uh– Oh, what are you sinking? Oh god. You’re sinking far, man. You got the right kind of shoes? Uh they’re porous. I’m very flat-footed. Step lightly. Oh man look, it’s a hat. Did you already say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 20 points. You know the thing I kind of like about walking around a
river around Los Angeles is I don’t have to worry
about getting bit by a snake like you do in North Carolina. What? You don’t think there’s
snake at this river? Not snakes that would bite you. I don’t think there’s any rat. You think there’s rattle snakes down here? Oh there probably are
rattle snakes, dang it. Tires is zero points . That’s why they’re shaped like that. What is that next to it? A bike tire.
That’s a bike tire. That’s worth one point . Yeah, a VHS tape man. I can’t tell what it is,
which means it’s only worth 11 points . 11, 11 points. I was talking to Lincoln and his friend about mixed tapes. I was like, “Tell me
what a mixed tape is.” They were like, “It’s like a tape. “You like download on it.” You download on it? It’s like forget about
it, forget about it. I found a freaking key pad. Poop poop poop poop. 20 points for key pad. Ooh look at that. We gotta go in there. 20 points for patriotism. Minus 20 points for underwear. They kind cancel each other out. Ah, I found a snake skin, dude. No! A freaking huge snake skin. 45 points dude. That’s not a snake skin. We got you all excited, did we? I think it’s a rug pad. It’s an old door mat. Hey, but I found a cult symbol. Where? Look at the top of that tree. What’s that about? This is part of the almost a swastika. Cult, they meet out here at the river. We don’t wanna cross ’em. You know you’re gonna
find a shopping cart. That’s worth like four points. Yeah, I mean I found one right here. Yeah, shopping carts are everywhere. A dime a dozen. Somebody run this plate! What? Run this plate! That could legitimately be
part of like an investigation. I found a ball. One point. But if you can catch it
when I throw it to you, it becomes four points. He, he, hey! If you can catch it Oh yeah that was five points. That had to be satisfying, right? Yeah, give me some points. This is cool man. Let’s just make a catching video. We’ve invented a new
type of YouTube video. Yeah! I’m good at that. I feel like these are
some epic shots, man. You liked that, didn’t you? You liked that! Alright, we’re gonna keep this man. This is a souvenir. Put this in your bag. When we were kids, we would
always go down to the woods, to the river near our home in Boise Creek. It was the Cape Fear River
and there was lots of woods. We wouldn’t find a bunch of trash, but we’d find a bunch of
like abandoned buildings, and like cabins, homes, barns and stuff. We’d look through all of those. It was creepy and fun. Shoe, eight points. Rope, three points. This is like a Hot Wheel, four points. Guys, this is wake up call. Stop throwing your crap into the river. Let’s take a moment– It makes me mad, man! Hey, let’s take a moment. I’m mad! Hold on, hold on. Let’s channel that anger into something that can be inspirational. Alright, let’s get down here. Let’s get inspirational, okay. I’m pissed about litter, how about you. Hold on. You hate litter as much as we do? Hold on, take a different tone, like– You wanna pulverize somebody? Hold on, like it’s gonna
start something like, Hi, we’re Rhett and Link. We would like to– Hurt someone who just littered. Hi, we’re Rhett and Link– And if I catch you littering, I’m gonna literally, that’s funny. Literally, grab your
littering head and squeeze it. Now that I see it– Hold on! I’m mad. Hi, we’re Rhett and
Link, and we’d would like to take a few moments to just talk to you about something very important. What is wrong with you? Like it’s not hard to
not throw things away. Like– Take your helmet off. I’ll take the glasses off. Listen– No, start over. Hi, we’re Rhett and Link. We’d like to take a
moment to share with you something that’s very near
and dear to our hearts and makes us sad. Listen, I’m not mad. If I seem mad, that’s your problem. Channel sadness, not anger. Hi, we’re Rhett and Link. We’re down at the L.A. River today, just enjoying nature. But we can’t help but notice that there’s something very
unnatural in our surroundings. Look at that. I can reach in any direction, and pull out trash, any direction. Pick it up and put it in the
freaking trash can, you bum. We’re Rhett and Link, and we care. We can clean up our
waterways, fowl environments, in both senses of the word. We can make them unfoul environments where fowl can then make
it their environment. Come spend some time with us at the river. I kinda like the slogan, make foul environments fowl environments. It’s really starting to stink though. Yeah. I like the slogan, but… I found our new destination. There’s definitely people in there. Let’s check it out. Oh yeah, here we go. It’s a whole lot shorter than I thought it would be. I didn’t wanna have to crouch. Go ahead man. Can you see anything? No, I can see. Ah, there’s something up there, man. Something in the distance. What was that! I think it got me! I don’t know what that was, but I think it got a little piece of me. How’s that? When you like need to apply for joint mountain biking squad, like a club for old men
who like to mountain bike. Yeah. This would be your mixed tape. Okay, yeah. Was that cool? That was one of the coolest
things I’ve ever seen I’m gonna make this slope look insane. So they’ll definitely have
to get you on the club. Oh yeah, I’d buy that. Go down as slow as possible to demonstrate your incredible command
of a mountain bike. Bike stunts! Yeah, that was it. That was perfect except when
you yelled out, “Bike stunts.” Yeah that was it. Look at this. Oh man. Look at that. You think you can get it open? It does have a hinge, look. Oh gosh, you’re doing it! Gosh, what do I do. I can’t hold this. It’s very heavy. It’s, ooh, I see the
opening on the other side. Oh god dang it man! Let me see if I can pull it up. Once you start wanting to hold it, it gets… You see? Yeah, basically the same
thing on the other side. See how you let it down gentler man? You wanna defend an aggressive criminal? Somebody’s gonna have to defend me after I take out some of these litterers. Are you okay? Oh yeah, yeah. We heard a log of ruckus. You know what– It was you complaining
about hurting your ears. Yeah he hurt my ears. That’s so crazy that you got that upset about a noise that people
thought somebody had to be legitimately hurt. I fell like this is a good
spot to do a music video, man. Yeah right there, stand right there. Now, that’s your mark. I want you to stand there. I want you to do some like, dancing. Where’s my BPM. I can pretty much only
move my pelvis right now. Just don’t worry. It’s just gonna be a lot
of pelvis moving, okay? See what you got. That’s good, that’s good. Thank you for picking up all this stuff. No problem. I saw a blue heron. That’s 50 points. Ironically, we’re men working. Let’s sit down here. Take a little rest. I’m surprised you didn’t ask me what was poking out of my bad all day. I ain’t time to look at your bag. I’m trying not to fall off the bike, man. Huh, it looks to be a pocket combo rod and reel, telescope. Bingo. I can see the bottom. It’s like six inches deep. Oh there’s a duck, man. Where there’s duck, there’s fish, right? That’ pretty awesesome cast. Listen, if we catch a
big fish, don’t worry. I’ve got helmet on. I’ll deal with the fish, okay? Alright, what did he get? Hold it up. What did you catch? Moss. Here let me try. Hey look at you. Oh, I got something. What did you catch? I got some moss, you see that? Alright, this is what you subscribe for. Actually, I don’t know why you subscribed. Or if you’re about to subscribe. Uh, good luck with that. I might catch a fish, hold on! It’s over man. You ain’t gonna catch no fish. One more try. Thanks for watching. Thanks for doing all the stuff you do. Liking, belling it. Whoa, got ‘er! I got one, I got one! I got one, I got one, I got one! Man, you ain’t got nothing. Moss. Here’s an idea, remember
this ball that we found that we did some epic catches with? It was in this same vlog. Well, we’re gonna sign it. And then we’re gonna
give it away to one lucky third degree member of
the mythical society. If you’re not a member
of the mythical society, check it out, mythicalsociety.com. We give stuff like this and do a bunch of other crap. Lens cap going on.

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